True stories...

post dem here!

start is this:

so true

got another one...

haha nice one chris

thread title is meant to be serious guys... just true stories happened to me.

AIN'T NOTHING FOOOKIN FUNNY ABOUT IT!!!!11!!111one!1eleven

Couple of days ago my mum asked me to come down because the computer was having issues, so I ask 'What is the problem?', and she replies 'Well all window-bars and taskbars are gone.'. So here I was thinking hmm, explorer.exe must have crashed somehow (that is what controls all the bars & forms etc.), so I go down and look at the screen and my mum says 'Well, call me when it's ready'. Me: 'It's ready.'. mum: 'Huh what? Allready?'

Turns out she must have accidently pressed F11, haha.
So than I explain what happened and how she can prevent it the next time. So I said: 'Well, next time don't press F11, or else you'll get a full screen without bars etc. So go ahead and try and get it back to normal again by pressing F11.'
My mum reaches for the keyboard and does the following: press the letter 'F' and press the numer '1' twice.. Haha epic /facepalm.
Mothers and PC's.. Just no

kerrermanisNL wrote:Couple of days ago my mum asked me to come down because the computer was having issues, so I ask 'What is the problem?', and she replies 'Well all window-bars and taskbars are gone.'. So here I was thinking hmm, explorer.exe must have crashed somehow (that is what controls all the bars & forms etc.), so I go down and look at the screen and my mum says 'Well, call me when it's ready'. Me: 'It's ready.'. mum: 'Huh what? Allready?'

Turns out she must have accidently pressed F11, haha.
So than I explain what happened and how she can prevent it the next time. So I said: 'Well, next time don't press F11, or else you'll get a full screen without bars etc. So go ahead and try and get it back to normal again by pressing F11.'
My mum reaches for the keyboard and does the following: press the letter 'F' and press the numer '1' twice.. Haha epic /facepalm.
Mothers and PC's.. Just no

now do that in a herp'n'derp-comic plz!

nice1

haha kerrer, I LOL'd so hard! :DD

I think I'm cruel. I sat and watched my mum for 30 minutes attempting to attach a photo to an email yesterday and I did it in 3 seconds :')

Another one? My mum owns a hotel/guest house, so I had to set up a new router for them that had a great range (Got a modem + one of these Quality routers), so.. After setting it up, I get rung on the phone when I was at lunch in school. She told me to "come up and sort the wi-fi out for her, because it wasn't working". I went up.. she'd been giving people the previous router's password -.- and then? To top it all off? My grandad comes in with "Oh, I tried ringing the other guest house (same name as this one) in penzance to see if they could turn their internet off for us to work it" -.-

Sorry for the wall of text, but for the love of god, I hate being the only IT knowledgeable person in my family :'(

I don't understand!

Hahaha, ooh voodoo how I feel your pain bro ;D

Hahaha that's a good one.. Oh dear Voodoo.

hey kerra mate! i just watched gangs in new york. f***ing awesome film <3 XoXoX to your dp

stormy4528 wrote:hey kerra mate! i just watched gangs in new york. f***ing awesome film <3 XoXoX to your dp

Haha yeah! Bill the butcher is one of my favorite movie characters, he's so epic! xD

/OT

I thought your avatar was the bloke from Jackpot Joy adverts :/

Reference -

This one time at band camp....

Chris_Kampfgurke wrote:

BRAINSPLOSION!!!

Chris_Kampfgurke wrote:

Ghehe, totally

new ones

Hahaha

Kerrer! That story was hilariousness!


This one of my stories:

I have a second job for in the weekend in a computer shop. Mostly I am repairing computers etc. But when it is busy I will jump in front between the costumers and help them out. So it goes as followed:

Costumer #4223 approaches me and asked about some information for a new router. He has already one is his hand (so probably he had already made his choice but wanted to hear my opinion to be sure). He asked the following: 'Will this go trough walls'. My answer: 'That depends, how hard can you throw it'. So there it was, a awkward moment of silence. His eyelids are bit narrowing. Then he mouth opened slowly and he said: 'I don't get it.'

Hahaha, I imagined this:



..I don't get it.

Lol'd

kerrermanisNL wrote:Hahaha, I imagined this:



..I don't get it.

Lol'd

That pretty much describes it!

story of my life

I know you guys like getting down to business so I thought I'd just share one paragraph of my experience touring my hopeful university.

[[
After touring one of the residences, I take the path back to the bus
stop, out of the corner of my eye I see a reflection move in the window
and then I hear, “OI THERE, SEXY!”. I spin around to see a curtain shake
very suddenly in the same spot as the moving reflection, where the
window must have opened. I smile and walk off but get followed up with,
“YOU KNOW I WANT YA..”.
]]

...I fell down the stairs on the day my parents renewed their vows, hit my back pretty hard, woulda been fun going to A&E on that day.

I had a terrifying experience the other day...

I was leaving Kavos earlier than my mates and so went to the Sister hotel where I had stayed and waited for my transfer to arrive. It was meant to arrive at 1am yet nothing came by 2am, A bartender told me a bus is arriving at 2:30am and so I decided to wait otherwise I was facing a taxi for 80euros.

When the coach arrived I had to barter with a rep that was on the bus and the driver to organise them to drive me to the airport, despite not being the company I had waited for. He agreed for 20 euros. I was alone on the coach.

After leaving the Town and going through some country, wooded and lightless roads, the driver, the rep and their friend all started laughing and looking at me. They rampled on in greek and made me feel very uncomfortable, laughing more and more. Next, the friend picked up a metal pole he just so happened to have in the bus, and started to do a swinging motion aggressively, to which they all laughed some more. After a while of awkward silence from me, the rep lent over and told me that they were "joking" about how they could easily pull the bus over, rape me, kill me, and bury me in the woods. Hurray .

Grateful to this information, 2 minutes later the rep got off the bus to their home and I was left with the 2 creepy bus people. Fearing the end was near, I sent my girlfriend a final text saying "If I am raped tonight, it was the bus driver and his friend", just incase I was killed and they wanted to find the killers....

The majority of the roads after this were in the backland and I didn't sleep a minute incase the pole came my way. Worst 60euros I've ever saved.

LMFAO!

Hahaahhaha XD I feel bad for laughing at that

My brother when he came home from 6 months at sea in the navy told me a similar story of when he was in africa, he forgot his wallet back on the ship and he got a taxi to this club, his friend paid for it then he lost his friends in this club, so he decided to try walk back to the ship on his own at night (such an idiot) he then ran into his officer who said he'd get them a cab to get back, so they did but since my brother had no money and the officer was and had no money, when they got to the gate they had to run out of the taxi through the gate really fast XD

Chapeau david! That was an amazing story to read!

Fug,

f**kin hell dave, sheeeet ! hope you remembered to text your missus after you didn't get arse raped !!

similar story...when i was erm, 16 ? i was hitching between Gloucester to Norwich, i had got to near Cambridge and my luck just plain left, i was sitting there for hours and the light was fading when a peugeot 205 GTI pulled up, i got in and was very thankfull.....until......about 5 minutes into the lift he started going very very fast (over 125 mph) he then proceeded to put his hand on my knee at which point i very nervously started to bull s**t him about the 'threesome' i'd had with my 2 GIRL friends the night before etc etc, well he wasn't having any of it, his grip just got harder and his talk moved on to how great his pad was and how much i was going to enjoy my stay......

i was saved by someone else's misfortune, he had driven off the A11 onto the bury road when we came up to a roundabout were 30 minutes before a car and a lorry had collided and there was police everywhere, he had to stop, i couldn't have got out of that car quicker if it had been on fire. ( i lost my sleeping bag, a water proof 800 down arctic warfare American bag that i've never been able to replace)

i ran over to one copper and tried to explain but he only got a partial plate and i never heard about it again even though i left my address.

to this day i wonder if he was just shitting me up, if he was i bet he still has a massive laugh about it, i must have looked the fat one in deliverance......

I would of smashed his teeth out and stole his s**t bin and what ever other goodies he had in his pad!

hindsight is a wonderful thing scotty, i was 16, he was going at 125mph plus in a small car, if i had hit him we'd have both died, looking back on it i should have lumped the fooker when we stopped but all that would of happened then is i would have been arrested by one of the 20 or so coppers were we stopped i suppose, anyway i couldn't have been happier that i was out of the situation

I would of played along with him until we got to his house then had me some major fun. xD

I got so many storys but am s**t at typing them out.. one day one day

Milo! Bro! THAT! Best post of the month, hands down.

-Crenshaw

Jesus speed, at least my bus driver wasn't rubbing my thighs while he weilded a pole. And yeah I sent her a text when I got into the airport saying "All is fine, ignore that", just so while I was flying home she didn't wake up to a text assuming I was either bleeding from several orifices or dead

@Crenshaw Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it, I however, did not enjoy it at the time...

Was supposed to work on Thursday (old job) woke up put the news on, checked the TV guide for any films that night was suprised to see so many films on Thursday as this is the day that has the least amount. Shaved, put my suit on, walked down to the underground, bought a fuking NEWSPAPER..read it, got to work my mate asks " you doing here?" i answer "coming to work" he says "werent you supposed to be working on thursday?" me answer " you think i'm doing?" he says "ross, its wednesday mate" me "see you tommorow" - if i ever felt stupid before, this topped everything ive ever done



alcohol and drugs are bad for your health kids





p.s David just read ur story f*k me mate thats some funny s**t there

f*****g hell Speed, this thread was funny as s**t and then you said that and i'm having nightmares XD

I had a similar thing like that too Smurf, my entire family pulled a prank on me i'll never forget...

I was flying out to go see my GF who was away at the time for a suprise present and I was just so looking forward to the flight date and the night before, my family changed every single clock in the house and calendar and tv and everything to say it was the day of the flight and then when I woke up the next day my dad burst in like "OMG YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE FLIGHT" and I was like "WTF" and I thought I had sleeped through an entire day and I just couldn't remember the day before, so I checked everything, I even rang my GRANDMA who was also in on it and she was like " thought you was on a plane" and I was like f**k NOOO I LOST ALL MY MONEY AND GOOD TIMEZ and then I googled "the time" and I was like "f**k you all"

I f*****g hate that day... and my family.. na I love them but I hated them that day... f*****g saturdays...

new true story!
now confess: who did that as well allready?

Straws are so 2011. I have done that without the straw though...

Dont that without straw too.. Not with though